Boo! Hahaha, I had enjoyable trying by my CT scan photographs and took this screenshot as a result of it seemed fairly creepy (these eyeballs!).
I notice how uncool it was to submit about my biopsy after which take two weeks to share the outcomes! I felt just like the outcomes took perpetually. Because the biopsy was on Friday, I hoped the outcomes could be out there on Monday; Tuesday on the newest. Often, labs and checks are uploaded to my chart on-line inside 24 hours or so.
By Wednesday, I nonetheless did not have the outcomes. I known as the ENT doc who’d ordered the biopsy and was advised that the physician needed to go over them in individual. And that he was going to be out for per week, so the earliest out there appointment could be on the twenty second! Listening to that, in fact, I ready myself for unhealthy information.
In the meantime, I had been leaping by all of the hoops to get an appointment on the College of Michigan medical middle, which could be very troublesome to get into; it is an enormous instructing hospital. (The girl from scheduling that I spoke with even had my biopsy outcomes however wasn’t allowed to provide them to me.) I requested my major care physician to fax my referral and information (I used to be shocked that folks nonetheless fax issues…) and he or she did it straight away. Then I needed to await the scheduler to name me to set the appointment with the ENT (otolaryngology; “ear/nostril/throat”) division. I lastly obtained an appointment for the twenty fourth (yesterday).
I used to be nonetheless ready on take a look at outcomes, and I simply could not wait anymore. I do not know why I did not ask within the first place, however I contacted my major care doc once more and requested if she had the outcomes and was she capable of add them. Inside an hour, they have been in my chart. (My physician is the BEST at doing every part rapidly.)
Anyway, the outcome was that my mass is benign! Which is clearly nice information. Nonetheless, nevertheless, this mass is inflicting me a variety of discomfort–especially after the biopsy. The biopsy made my signs a lot worse and I have been tremendous irritable. I consistently really feel like my shirt is choking me, however after I attain to drag the collar from my neck, it is not there–it’s simply this mass that’s inflicting the strangling feeling.
The CT that was taken within the emergency room the day of my biopsy confirmed that the mass had elevated by a couple of centimeter (it was about 5.5 and now it is about 6.5 cm–that’s *very* giant). Since I had the appointment at U of M, I had entry to their affected person portal. My CT scan was in there, and I used to be completely fascinated trying by the photographs. It is like watching a video touring by your physique, one airplane at a time, and there are photographs from a number of directions–traveling from the entrance of my face to the again of my head, and from both sides touring by to the opposite facet, and even beginning at my lungs, transferring as much as the highest of my head. You’ll be able to see every part in 3D.)
Primarily based on the physician’s notes and the photographs, it confirmed that my trachea and esophagus have been being pushed to the facet because of the mass urgent in opposition to them–this is why I’ve issue swallowing and what’s inflicting the strangling feeling. It is pushing my carotid artery towards my again. It is even touching my backbone, and goes down previous my clavicle (collar bone). Needles to say, it’s extremely large. I knew it will want to return out, however I hoped that I might save my proper thyroid as a way to *attempt to* keep away from needing hormone substitute remedy for the remainder of my life.
*I should still want it, it would depend upon my thyroid operate after surgical procedure*
Right here is a picture that exhibits from the entrance to the back–the crimson line is my airway, which must be straight up and down. And the blue circles the mass itself.
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| CT of thyroid mass, circled in blue |
My appointment at U of M yesterday didn’t begin out nicely. I do know most individuals will assume that is shallow, however I’ve written earlier than about how I’m having such a tough time with exhibiting indicators of getting older. You might keep in mind when, in 2018(?), Jerry and I went to the lab for him to have his blood drawn and I used to be with him. I sat down within the ready room and he went as much as the counter to examine in. The girl there noticed his license/birthdate and exclaimed how younger he seemed and mentioned these phrases which nonetheless hang-out me: “I believed that was your mom with you!”
Up till that second, I by no means considered myself as trying outdated. However that triggered one thing within me that made me discover every part about myself that’s exhibiting indicators of getting older. Do I actually appear like I might be 60-ish+ years outdated?! Even when Jerry seemed MUCH younger–let’s say 30 (he is 44)–that would imply I would need to look roughly 50 (right this moment I turned 43). I began to really feel extraordinarily self-conscious of my age at that time, regardless that I by no means cared in any respect earlier than. Is not it silly how one single remark from somebody has the ability to do this? Most individuals would in all probability giggle about it, however it had the alternative impact on me.
Anyway, again to my appointment yesterday. The medical assistant introduced us again to weigh me and get my blood stress. He requested me, “Is that this your son with you?”
My face obtained actually scorching and my ears instantly began ringing. I used to be so flustered I could not even reply him, and Jerry, realizing I used to be crushed, helped alleviate the awkwardness I felt by making a joke in regards to the fountain of youth or one thing. The medical assistant requested for my birthday and after I advised him, he mentioned, “Completely happy early birthday!”. I mentioned, in what I hoped got here off as nonchalant, “Thanks, however I am abruptly feeling very outdated”. I sort of needed to trace to him that as a substitute of asking if it was my son, simply ask who’s with me right this moment or one thing like that.
I believed he would apologize, however he did not catch on. I can keep in mind being (comparatively) younger and by no means understanding why age was such a sensitive topic for girls. Once I labored at Curves in my 20’s, many of the girls have been within the 40 to 60-ish age vary and incessantly talked about aging–I simply did not get it. I by no means thought I’d care about getting older! And I actually would not thoughts it, if I believed I seemed my age–43–but 60+?! That is onerous to swallow. (Fairly actually proper now, haha). When it was only one one who talked about it, it might be written off as a one-off unintentionally impolite remark; however when two individuals say it, nicely…
Okay, sufficient of that. I used to be pleasantly shocked on the minimal wait time, which was superior. The ENT physician was extremely really useful by my cousin, who’s a nurse practitioner there, and he or she was every part I hoped. She was extraordinarily pleasant and affected person, taking the time to reply my questions and clarify every part very well. An anesthesiology med pupil was together with her and he was simply as nice.
They needed to scope my throat, which wasn’t enjoyable (on the earlier ENT doc’s workplace, they did it as nicely). They put a protracted, skinny, versatile tube with a digicam on one finish, by my nostril and down my throat to take a look at my vocal cords. It actually looks like a COVID take a look at, solely like pushing the swab right through to stab your mind. Then it felt like I had a capsule caught in my throat. However my vocal cords aren’t broken; the change in my voice is probably going as a result of my trachea (airway) is being pushed apart by the mass on my thyroid. (My voice has gotten sort of raspy and it is a pressure to speak.)
They agreed that the mass ought to come out, and the physician defined the surgical procedure to me. It is underneath common anesthesia, which is extra difficult than the IV sedation I had not too long ago for my tooth extraction, however I have been underneath 3 times before–for my two jaw restore surgical procedures and for my pores and skin removing surgery–so I am not too anxious about it. The scariest half is that they will be working in a really vital space of my body–around my airway, my esophagus, my carotid arteries, jugular veins, and vocal cords–and there are dangers with that. However the ENT physician is the one who will probably be performing the surgical procedure and I really feel very assured in her.
Once I was tremendous nervous in regards to the common anesthesia earlier than getting my jaw restore, my surgeon (who was an ENT doc) advised me this: If you happen to’re anxious about your airway throughout surgical procedure, the perfect crew you may have with you is an ENT crew. In order that’s comforting! Haha.
The surgical procedure sounds very straight-forward and I will be allowed to depart the identical day (she mentioned three hours or so). For per week post-op, I have to relaxation, not carry something over 10 kilos, eat mushy meals for a few days, and that is about it. There’s a variety of follow-up lab work to see if my thyroid hormones tank. They’re utterly regular proper now, so I’m hoping my proper thyroid will just do high-quality when the left is gone. The ENT doc mentioned that it occurs in about half of sufferers with this process.
Now, I simply have to attend for a name from the scheduler to get a date for surgical procedure. The physician mentioned that since it is not most cancers, I haven’t got to do it proper away–just every time it is handy for me–but I will take the primary out there date. My signs are driving me loopy, particularly since my biopsy.
Haha! Talking of, after my biopsy I used to be advised that I “may need a small bruise that ought to go away by itself in a few days”. It’s now 15 days later, and that is what it seems to be like:
Apart from the bruise, although, the lump could be very noticeable in my neck. It wasn’t like this earlier than the biopsy. This mass grew SO rapidly. I seen someday within the summer–I feel August–that my neck seemed a bit greater in entrance. I forgot about it after I obtained COVID, after which the headache that lasted two months, and the method that led to my tooth extraction.
It was nonetheless barely noticeable in December, however now there isn’t any approach you may miss it. I am anxious it will proceed to develop at this price. I am thrilled that it is not most cancers, regardless that I knew I would be having surgical procedure both approach, however it’s so uncomfortable–I can not await it to be gone!
